(Source: vegan-bacchante, via relahvant)


occupation: struggling tumblr comedian

(via just-escaping-from-reality)

(Source: ddraco, via caeldre)


I just died.

(via whalethisisawkward)


i love birthdays they’re so motivational like if i can manage to keep myself alive for another year ill get money and cake

(via hopelessie)

what if instead of laughing we just screamed “HUMOR” when we thought something was funny

(Source: bunnyravio, via whalethisisawkward)


my Mom is a 4th grade teacher and she was teaching her students to right haikus and a nine year old, fictionally illiterate boy wrote this one and it actually hit me hard

(via unrisible)





An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.

Octopuses are going to kill us all someday

I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.

Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank

Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.

My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had as similar story.  Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank.

(via whalethisisawkward)

(Source: sexhaustion, via oupsies)



if anyone was ever thinking about getting this album dont think about, just get it ive got it and it is one of my most favorite albums. sooooo please get it you wont regret it.

Okay. Rant time motherfuckers. Take a ride with me on why this album is my favorite album of all time with second place (Alter Bridge’s Blackbird) being incredibly far behind.

This album is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. The Sufferer and The WItness sets a tone with Chamber the Cartridge that continues and intensifies for the first 12 songs. That tone and theme being life is hard. Really fucking hard. It will chew you up, spit you out, piss on you in an ally, and beat you six ways till Sunday. You will face many, many battles on this path of life including low paying jobs, being a drone to work, being betrayed by someone you love, having to let go of someone you love, contemplating suicide, being hospitalized, drug abuse, hating your government, getting in a fight with someone you love, etc etc. The album builds up for its first 12 songs. Tim screams these pains and hardships into your ears for you to process and relate to on any level to even to lowest level. And it keeps going to the climax of the album, Survive.

That song is a force that will hit you as fast as its being played. It will grab you and let you scream to it at how you’re a fuck up, everything goes wrong, how life shits on you from the time you wake up. You can and have yelled about this from track 1 to track 12 and then Survive says it’s okay. How we get through life and survive makes us who we are. We are not alone in our trials and tribulations. The tears I personally have shed from that song alone could create a river.

There is no reason to not buy this album. To experience the power behind this album I dare say is close to perfection is… It needs to be experienced. There is no word to explain how I feel and how perfect this piece of art is. Listen to this album, especially if you’re feeling the world is against you. It got me through a tough time, and now it still guides me 5 years later.

(via lilkyle1527)

(Source: girlcodehumor, via relahvant)